It’s My Life! My Thoughts & Feelings
This is copied from my old blog
At exactly 1.50am this morning, the silence of the household was shattered to smithereens by this horrible yowling noise from the hall. Stupid cat had brought in a mouse with her again.
This is the cat that adopted us years ago, after the Teenage One, then a proper little girl, fed her canned tuna. Over the next 8 years or so, we cleared ownership of the cat from its former owners, who have since moved away, the Teenage One lost interest in her “project” and the cat has since formed an unbreakable bond with my manager, aka the wife.
So much so that it’s a case of My Cat And I.
But it was me who had to get up at this stupid hour of the morning today. The piercing, mournful yowling occasionally stopped for a few seconds, and this sudden, unexpected silence, was followed by the most horrendous thudding and banging as the cat proceeded to chase it’s prey into closed doors and around the lounge.
I got up to find the cat on the manager’s computer desk, attempting to get the mouse, which had run around the back of it for safety and escape from the cat.
By 2.15 am this mornng,I was dragging the desk out and clearing everything from under it so I could get to the mouse and put it outside. The cat, on watching me, decided that it couldn’t wait any longer, and pushing past me, making me jump and hit my head on the desk, launched into an all out offensive to catch the mouse, being smacked by this years Norwich Yellow Pages as she knocked it over onto herself, which made her jump back into me, resulting in yet another head banging session.
So, in a single 3ft wide square desk opening, there was me on my knees, The Cat, and the mouse, all together in a really tiny cramped space.
On eventually freeing myself from the makeshift safari park under the desk, I stood up, just as the light bulb blew. All of a sudden, I was in this darkened, freezing cold room, with THAT horrible yowelling and fighting going on around my ankles.
That’s when I gave up and went back to bed.
The wife got up this morning and found her desk pulled away from the wall and various boxes, crates and telephone directories in the middle of the lounge. The Mouse was still there, somewhere, as was the cat, who was still sitting on guard, watching for the mouse, some five hours later.
We (sorry, I) eventually found the mouse, rescued it from the cat, and put it out into the garden at about half nine this morning. The cat still keeps looking for it now. And to get the mouse, we had to empty a five shelf unit where we keep all our videos, and drag the unit out, after blocking all possible mouse exits with some of the videos, to catch it. And, at one stage, I ended up in a tug of war with the cat, the mouse in the middle of us, until I gave in, in case the mouse split in half between us!
A simple life? Well, maybe one day - you never know!
Where have the last 15 years gone? Anyone know? And why have they gone so fast? My little baby left home this morning dressed as a young woman for work experience instead of her school uniform.
I realise I’ve got to get my brain to catch up with life,but it’s so hard when your youngest is growing up too fast in front of you.
So, I’m taking positive action here. As a feature in my first business magazine, I’ve reprinted a section from an Housekeeping magazine from 1955, and I’m going to give my (grown up) baby daughter a copy to serve her in good stead for the future. I think every young lady needs the guide I’ve repinted here. There, I’ve accepted her growing up a little more now, don’t you think?
The Good Wife’s Guide
This is an actual article from the Housekeeping Monthly magazine, dated 13th May, 1955.
How things have changed today….
Have Dinner Ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare Yourself: Take 15 minutes rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a break and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.Gather up schoolbooks , toys, paper etc and then tidy tables.
Light a fire: over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached an haven of rest and order, and will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Prepare the Children: Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimise all noise at the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.Be happy to see him
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him: You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the more important things are your husbands.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a chair or lie down in a bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink waiting for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don’t ask him questions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.
I’ll let you know what happens……………..
Paul
Had a text message from a long standing friend a couple of days ago, saying he was stuck in London, needed a favour, and could I ring him as soon as possible.
Bob, my friend of 9 years,works at my company’s head office, is a fifty something divorced man, with a teenagers attitude.
So it was no suprise to read that he’d got stuck in London with a problem and needed help.
The text message also said his battery was flat (no suprise there then, either) and gave me a landline number to ring. The landline would be answered by a woman called Liz, who was waiting for my call, and would put me through to him.
So, I rang the number he gave me in the text, 0207 930 xxxx .
Turned out it was Buckingham palace.
I got connected to a recorded message saying something like “You are calling the Royal Household. If you have been told to call this number as a matter of urgency, it is because of a hoax message and you should hang up immediately. If, however, you do have a genuine reason for calling the Royal Household, stay on the line for an operator.”
Needless to say, I hung up!
And Bobs been promised a severe leg smacking next time I see him!
